I’ve dipped my toes in the online dating pool for a couple of months now, and I’ve been consistently disappointed. I know, I know… you have to kiss a lot of frogs… But the frogs are starting to get on my nerves. I know JDate isn’t exactly a scientific sample of the larger human race, but the profiles are starting to undermine my faith in humanity. They are also laugh-out-loud hysterical… and profoundly insane.
Take this guy — I will call him Joe. He messaged me expressing an interest in meeting, so I checked out his profile. His picture makes him look at least 50 – and that is being generous – he is probably closer to 60. But here’s the kicker: He lists his age as 40. I’m automatically suspicious, but curiosity gets the better of me. So I read on, and it gets better. Joe writes: “I picked the age to reflect as true a reality as possible as a compromise between the fact that I’m an outlier in terms of health, energy, and many other things, and my chronological age.”
What the what?!?!!?
Are you fucking kidding me?
This guy lies about his age and then blatantly admits that he is lying about his age. Umm… How does he not realize that this is a) creepy and b) completely disingenuous? And here’s another question while I’m at it: Why does a 50 or 60-year-old guy think it’s appropriate to pursue a girl 15 to 20 years younger than him? Note to members of the male gender: The very fact that you are pursuing a girl young enough to be your daughter is a massive, flaming red flag that screams: “Stay away from me! I am a super creepazoid!” And what exactly is the thought process here? Do men assume I’m so desperate, I’ll fall over my feet grateful that any guy has expressed interest in me even if he is old enough to be my father?
I think not. If anyone is desperate, it’s a 60-year-old man, pretending he’s 40, trying to score a 34-year-old.